I love him but I don’t know why I want to leave him…

When the world scares me I search for you’ said Shona.

Shona is a girl in her mid twenties, student, and unemployed. She has got a beautiful rounded face, brown eyes and a long light brown hair that covers her entire back. Her smile was divine and her shiny eyes are all she could offer when talking to people. her heart was fragile, soft and strong all at once. She loved calm music and baking. She was not great with finances thus, she struggled most of the time to survive and pay her bills. Her favorite books were about how she could find her call in life through fictional and non fictional stories.

Occasionally, Shona would share her thoughts on a piece of paper in one of her random notebooks. she has always been collecting notebooks and never write in them; only using few pages. Her way of handling situations was not the best all the time because, she always had that suffocated feeling; running at the back of her head. she can connect the dots now and remember why is that happening… Money? Love? Family? Status? Nationality? what is the problem? what is causing her all this pain and suffering? She did not know where exactly the problem is but, at least she had someone to run back to every time life disappointed her. every-time she was in pain, or felt sad and lonely. Shona had the one who could contain all her pain and sorrows. But now, the one is no longer there…..

The one wants her so bad but she decided to leave him, why?
Maybe she wanted to experience life by herself, maybe she felt she has no wings when she is with him. Maybe he is not the one, but how could she know?
Maybe she wanted to know what her options are, maybe she wanted to be independent emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually. She did not know why, but felt that it is the time for him to go. It is not easy to let go, it is not easy, I wish it was but humans relationships are the most complex.

she still doesn’t know if she should let him go…..